It's About Saving Yourself Ch 12

You know, it's only as I am about to post this that I realized I said I was gonna do an informational post, and completely forgot.

...

Sorry about that, that was unprofessional of me. In my defense. Work got CRAZY this week. I got home brain blasted every day and vaguely had the 'I need to write' idea in my brain. And wrote this chapter.

Had my brain not been leaking out my ears, I probably would have remembered that I meant 'write the informational post.'

I'll try and be better about that.

NOW!

Chapter 12, when I was more lucid, I had a lot of fun writing this! Though let me tell you, some of the stuff I got rid of in editing...just...it's incredible where a brain goes when exhausted.

Here's the chapter. Let me know what y'all think!

Probably a writing update tomorrow or Monday asking for opinions on how to go about a thing.

=][=

I sat on the couch and watched the late night/early morning programming with my mom. There wasn’t anything good, but she didn’t have the early shift at the Afterlife and I didn’t have a job lined up. So, I could take some time to decompress and stop feeling sorry for myself.

There was no point what-ifing about letting the woman live. Either she’d keep her mouth shut or she wouldn’t. And I would deal with the consequences.

I really hoped she would keep her mouth shut though, for both our sakes.

My private messages pinged as I received a message titled ‘Sorry’ as well as a text file from Apex. I glanced through it; the opening paragraph was pretty good at explaining why Edward was indeed the superior Elric brother as well as hinting at the arguments that would be used to back up that claim.

As the exact meaning of what I was reading clicked in my brain, I brought my HUD up to demand some answers from my digital daughter, when Lucy’s icon came up on my HUD, and the ringtone buzzed in my ears.

Well…shit.

Fuck!

I stood, waved at my mom so she wouldn’t worry, and answered. “Y’ello?”

[Alex, an Arasaka Netrunner followed us after the job! I turned an ambush around on them but they got away!] Reported a very worried Lucy.

“Lucy—”

“Lucy calm do—”

“Lucy that’s a good response bu—”

“Lucy, I appreciate it bu—”

“Lucy!” My shout finally got her to start paying attention. I continued in a softer tone. “Lucy, I’m touched, really, but it’s fine.”

“Are in all likelihood still unaware of the unfortunate passing of Director Evans. I know who, uhh, ‘ambushed’ you. I think there has been a bit of a misunderstanding.” I took a deep breath. “But I’m almost certain it was a harmless prank.”

[A prank!?] Lucy shouted. [Alex this was an elite operative! The sheer level of hell I threw at them—!]

“Lucy, please, I can explain. Just uhh…not over an open line.” I went over my list of usual haunts and sighed. “Look, meet me at the Afterlife, I’ll arrange for a private booth, okay? I’ll explain things to your satisfaction, you have my word.”

Lucy remained quiet long enough to make me fidget. [Fine.]

The connection cut. That…that was not a good tone. That was not a good tone at all.

I may be in some danger.

I sighed. “Hey Ma, something cropped up for work, I gotta go out!”

“Anything I should know about?” She asked, sounding worried.

“Nah.” I lied. “Just one of the crew needs help with something. Shouldn’t be an issue.”

“Where are you headed?”

I shrugged. “To the Afterlife.”

“Okay, tell Rogue I said hi! Stay safe, I love you!”

“Love you too!” I said and made my way to the lift. Sending a ping to Apex to meet me at the elevator.

Her drone body sulked all the way there as she skittered on her spidery armature. It was incredible how much she could emote with a body that did not have a face.

I kept quiet so she’d fidget a little bit more and ran into David as I stepped outside.

“Oh…David.” I said, somewhat nonplussed, then scowled. “Dude, it’s like, one in the morning. Where were you?”

He scowled back. “What’s it to ya?”

“Dude, like I said, it’s one in the morning. Night City isn’t somewhere to be out after dark without some heavy firepower.”

He squared off against me. “Where I was is my business and none’ a’ yours.”

I tamped down on my rising anger. “David. You’re my brother. That makes it my business. You could have gotten shot or kidnapped.”

“Don’t ever seem to stop you.”

“David, I’m a mercenary. I kill people for money and I’m unfortunately pretty good at it. I carry enough weapons and ammunition everywhere I go to make it everyone’s problem.”

He spat to the side and brushed past me. “Just lay off will ya? I’m going to bed.”

I watched his retreating back and considered going after him. But ultimately decided against it. The situation with Lucy would not wait. Speaking of, I called Rogue as I walked to my car.

The call rang for a while before connecting. [Hey kid, what’s up?]

“Hey Rogue. Sorry to be a bother, but do you have a private booth free that I might make use of?”

[Sure, nobody’s using them at the moment.] She sent me a ticket. [That all?]

I sighed. “Unless you have some advice for dealing with recalcitrant and dumbass brothers. Yeah. Thank you for the help.”

She snorted. [Welcome, as for advice? If brute force isn’t solving your problem, you’re not using enough of it. Gotta go, drop by my booth before you leave.]

“Yes ma’am.” I said and disconnected the call. One did not keep Rogue busy with needless talk. It was better for one’s health that way.

I sat in my car and waited for Apex to magnetize her body to the roof, then took off at a sedate pace as Apex projected her icon on my windshield and sulked in the corner. “So, give me the deets on what happened.”

+Weeell. I was just, you know, out for an enthusiastic walk.+ Apex began, and gave me the whole story from her end.

Once she was done with her tale, I took a deep breath, and let it out slowly. “Good job on the guy that was going to cause a pileup, I’m proud of you.” I said, her icon glancing at me in hope. “Now tell me what you did wrong with Lucy.”

+Umm. I uhh…+ I waited in silence until she quietly admitted. +I don’t know.+

“For starters, you underestimated her and failed to respect her.” I stated and spoke over her protest. “You reused the exact same adware twice rather than come up with something new, you assumed she hadn’t seen the first one. Which got you caught with your pants down when it turned out that, not only had she seen it, she’d made a note of it and grew suspicious the second time she saw it.

“In short, you got lazy. And now you’re paying the price for that.” My hands tightened on the steering before I forced myself to relax.

Silence reigned while I drove, until Apex asked in a small voice. +Will she tell Netwatch about me?+

“She won’t.” I stated immediately and with conviction.

+How do you know?+

I don’t. “Whatever happens Apex, I’ll figure it out.” I gave the dash camera the most natural smile I could muster. “So don’t you worry your pretty little head, everything will be alright, I’ll take care of it.”

Apex remained quiet for several seconds before saying. +Okay.+

I nodded.

+Dad?+

“Yeah?”

+I love you.+

“I love you too, honey.”

=][=

It wasn’t until I was sitting in what had at one point been an autopsy room, that I remembered that Lucy did not own a car.

This gave me the time I needed to scan for bugs. I was going to have to be very candid with the coming talk, no squirrelly doublespeak or anything that could be misconstrued. Anyone that heard what I was about to confess to would, in all ways that mattered, own me.

I liked Rogue, and all evidence pointed to her liking me too, but I trusted her as far as I could bench press my car.

That neither Apex nor I were able to find any bugs in my exceedingly thorough search did not guarantee there weren’t any, but after the fifth time I searched, I would have to accept that I had done my due diligence, and that would have to be enough.

+She’s here.+ Apex said, her front manipulators spinning a fidget spinner she’d constructed with random stuff she’d picked up off the floor.

I stared at the fidget spinner.

That…had that ever been a thing here?

No, no. Focus. Deal with emergency now, attempt to cash in on daughter’s genius later.

I sat and waited for Lucy, it didn’t take her long to arrive. She regarded me with eyes cold as ice.

“Hey Lucy.” I said, hoping my smile was less sickly than it felt.

“Alex.” She said, but pointedly did not sit.

I sighed. “I’m…please, Lucy, I…this was a misunderstanding is all.”

I heard the ‘snikt’ of the ceramic plate that hid the monowire in her wrist opening up. “Then clear it up for me, Alex. Because it looks to me like you sold me out to Arasaka.”

Fuck.

I could see it in her eyes. She’d thought the situation through in her head, turned it over and over until she arrived at an explanation that made sense. And, in a way, I understood her logic.

After all, I was the one that convinced her to take the Evans job. I was Vik’s apprentice, who is to say I didn’t convince Vik to make up an issue for Kiwi?

She had very good reason to fear that Arasaka would come after her, it was an ever-present specter that had been with her for almost her whole life.

In her eyes, I had betrayed her to her worst nightmare.

So, I did the only thing I knew had any chance whatsoever to interrupt the spiral of twisted logic her mind was hurtling down.

“I have a daughter.”

Say the most outrageous thing I could that also happened to be the truth.

I could see her brain come to a stop as it absorbed the information transmitted to it by the auditory nerves. And decided that no, I had not, in fact, stuttered.

I continued before she could rally. “I asked her to shadow you during the Evans job, to keep you safe. Give you one more layer of protection against Arasaka.” I continued, making my hands into tight fists so they wouldn’t tremble. “After I got home, she decided to go out and have fun in the Net. She ran into you and decided to shadow you. That’s when you realized she was, in fact, not just an ad for a corny movie and…well, the rest as they say, is history.”

Lucy’s mouth flapped like a fish out of water for a few more seconds before she asked in a faint voice. “A daughter?”

“Yes.” I said, and patted Apex’s drone chassis. “This is Apex, my baby girl.”

+Hello.+ Apex said, waving with the manipulator mandible not currently spinning her fidget spinner like a top.

Lucy’s eyes blazed with anger, before her expression turned introspective. Then her eyes widened. “You made an A.I.?”

“I prefer the term Silica Anima.” I answered. So I’m a drama queen, anyone who has raised a digital daughter can fight me on the terminology.

“Are you fucking insane!?” Lucy hissed. “Have you any idea how dangerous it is!?”

+Hey! I’m a girl, not an it!+ Apex cut in angrily. But calmed as I patted her chassis.

“Lucy, I understand why you might be upset.”

“But if there’s anyone in this whole fucked up world that does not deserve your vitriol, it’s Apex.” I gestured to the chair imploringly. “Even when you attacked her, all she did was parry and deflect. Please, Lucy, take a seat. Let me at least give you our side of the story.”

Lucy eyed the door, then sighed. The ceramic plate over her wrist pointedly did not close over the monowire. But she did take a seat. “Talk.”

“Well, to start with. Soulkiller? The Arasaka boogieman attack program? It’s real. It does actually take a Netrunner’s mind and make them into an entity of the Net.”

From there, I told her of my decision to make an attack dog, of my experiments with flash cloning. Of my one success.

Of the little girl who grew up very quickly on Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood and all of the time I could spare to spend with her.

Lucy had looked particularly conflicted when Apex began to sing her favorite songs from the show.

Once I’d laid it all out, I waited for Lucy’s decision. Hoping she would not force me to make a choice between protecting Apex, and…doing something drastic I desperately did not want to do.

The ‘snikt’ of the ceramic plate sliding closed over the monowire was the most beautiful sound I’d heard all day.

She rubbed her temples while glaring petulantly at me. “If anyone learns of this, you’ll be hunted like an animal.”

“I know.”

“Not just Netwatch. Every Corp would try to black site you. Every Fixer will turn on you. Most gangs will hunt you for the inevitably large bounty that will be placed on your head.”

“Yep.”

“Then…why? Why did you…why did you make i—her?”

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I wasn’t lying Lucy. I tried to make the ultimate Netrunner Hunter. Somewhere in the middle of all that, I instead made a daughter…and now here we are.”

She glared at the table for a long time before she met my eyes. “That’s why we did all those milk runs. You were…training her. Teaching her to be an Edgerunner.”

I sighed, I was doing that a lot. “Got it in one.”

Lucy’s leg began to bounce. “How many other people know about her?”

“You’re the only one.” I answered. “I’ve been…understandably reticent to reveal Apex to people.”

Lucy turned her eyes to Apex’s body, which immediately began to spin the fidget spinner even faster. “Why were you following me?”

Apex skittered to ineffectually hide behind my leg, her insectoid faceplate peeking out from behind my calf. +You were the only one whose intentions toward my Dad were unclear, I wanted to survey you and see if I could discern them.+

Lucy scowled. “My intentions?”

Apex bobbed her body up and down. +Miss Rebecca wants to be adopted by him and eat a steak dinner.+

“Wait what?” I cut in.

+Yeah, Miss Rebecca said she would like to call you Daddy and get some beef.+ Apex said, using both manipulators to absently modify her toy while she talked. +It makes sense, you’re the best Dad ever, and she’s tiny but eats a lot.+

Lucy’s eyes widened. “How old did you say Apex is?”

I blinked. “Five months?”

+Miss Kiwi said Dad made her feel safe and that she’d try to get a favor from him and do some jujitsu sparring.+ Apex continued guilelessly.

“Wait, no. That’s enough.” Lucy begged.

+Then Miss Rebecca said everyone at Lizzie’s wanted to ride Dad’s cock. That one confused me because we don’t have any poultry.+ Apex waved with her manipulator. +But then I figured out that they must know my dad is also a biologist and will clone a giant chicken for them to take turns riding around on, which sounds like a lot of fun!+

“Alex, HOW!?” Lucy choked.

“I have parental controls set up, okay! Young children should not be exposed to a lot of what happens in the Net!”

“I ducked parental controls when I was seven!”

+That left only Miss Lucyna. Who was likely to make a move on Dad, because she has something to crush.+

I choked and began coughing. Lucy’s face was tomato red, staring in horror at the guileless little drone.

+And then…well, things got complicated. She attacked me, but that’s okay! Nobody got hurt and it’s my fault for startling Miss Lucyna.+ She skittered out from behind my leg. +Sorry about that, I didn’t mean anything bad.+

Lucy gurgled something unintelligible, her hands pressed tightly against her face. She transitioned to putting her elbows on her knees and resting her forehead on her hands. “Apology accepted, Apex.” She said in a monotone.

We sat in an increasingly awkward silence until I could take it no more. “So uhh, you uhh…”

Lucy swallowed thickly, trembling from head to foot in either rage, or terminal embarrassment. More likely an unholy combination of the two. “Y-Yeah. I…I…”

I chewed on the inside of my cheek for a bit before taking a deep breath and saying. “I’m… Far from opposed to the idea.” Lucy’s eyes snapped to me with the intensity of targeting lasers. “We uhh…we get along pretty well, and you’re umm, well, you’re gorgeous, and smart, and you can be funny when you try.”

Her face changed to an expression somewhere between confused and constipated, which did not help my rambling any.

“And honestly you’re pretty badass, and you kinda scare me which if you think about it isn’t supposed to be seen as attractive but it really does kinda work for me a surprising amount.” I felt my face getting steadily hotter the more I rambled, my panic rising the more I made a fool of myself, which made me talk faster. “And honestly, I think you and my mom will get along like a house on fire. Which is actually something very important in a girlfriend because family is super important and it can be awkward when loved ones don’t get along so it’s a good thing you’ll probably get along. Though I’ll not be able to invite you to my place often because my mom and brother live with me and that would probably ruin whatever romantic thing I’m trying to set up so I’ll probably have to rent another apartment to be able to invite you over anditcanserveasasecondaryhideoutifIdoitunderadifferentnamesoI’llhavetoseeaboutgettingafakeIDan—”

I cut off as Lucy’s lips pressed against mine, my startled gasp resulted with her tongue being in my mouth.

Her mouth tasted like strawberry NiCola. Which itself tasted like NyQuil with a faint cherry aftertaste.

As she straddled my lap, I rested my hands on her waist and kissed her back, enjoying her warmth and the softness of her lips as she pressed her body against mine.

+Okaaaaay…+ I heard Apex say, her volume turned down. +But what does this have to do with crushing things?+