Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 15

Good evening folks.

Not much to say this time. I'll save it for the writing update Soon(TM).

I'm legitimately falling asleep where I sit. So I'mma slap down the chapter for y'all, and hit the sack.

Hope y'all like it. Drop me a comment if you do!

Also if you don't. I'll just cry in the corner for a while if that's the case.

Here is the chapter. Have a good evening.

=][=

“Man, it’s been super awkward since Mister Shinji got shot.” Ibuki Maya said, leaning back on her chair and kicking her feet, her friends in the break room made agreeing noises.

“Tell me about it.” Kaede sighed, stirring her coffee. “At least you didn’t get his blood all over your uniform.”

Naomi smirked. “But I hear he flirted with you.”

Kaede choked. “If you call that flirting! He just said he liked my hairstyle and that he wasn’t sure if his girlfriend would seduce me with him!”

“You can’t blame him!” Maya chastised. “The pain medicine you gave him—”

Kaede made shushing noises. “I know, I know. He was hurt, and like you said, opioids. I won’t blame him for saying weird stuff when his judgement was compromised.”

Hana twirled one of the wavy black locks of her hair. “I mean, I’m not usually into younger men, but…”

Maya, Kaede and Naomi all stared at their friend in shock, Maya recovered enough to hiss. “Hana!”

“What? Have you looked at him?” Hana said with a smirk.

Kaede and Naomi looked away. Maya looked at them accusingly.

Hana sighed. “Look Maya, I get that your tastes might run tall svelte and blonde?” Maya felt her cheeks growing warm. “But most of us like big, brawny and feisty. Plus, have you seen how gentle he is with the First? Yeah, Shinji might be scary, but he’s definitely a catch.”

Kaede coughed into her hand before speaking. “Plus, you know, he’s pretty mature for his age. And he’s filthy rich. And the way he just, got shot three times and still put the man that did that to him down and was all stoic about it? If I hadn’t been busy staunching his bleeding I would have swooned.”

Naomi sighed. “Honestly if he were a few years older, the things I would do to that boy.”

Hana elbowed her side. “Hey, there’s bigger age gaps that are perfectly normal lately.”

Maya massaged her temples sullenly. “I can’t believe we’re having this conversation.”

“Plus, the way he looks in a plug suit…” Kaede said tentatively, bringing up a mental image that made Maya’s cheeks warm up. “Honestly, I worry for the First, she’s so small and well…he isn’t.”

“Can we please talk about anything else?” Maya begged.

“What do you think of the Second?” Naomi asked.

Kaede made a face. “Honestly, I don’t like her. She was stuck up all through the time Shinji was down after defeating the Seventh Angel when she was the cause he got hurt in the first place! If she’d only worked with him then he probably wouldn’t have gotten hurt!”

Naomi made calming gestures. “She did kill the eighth.”

Kaede crossed her arms and huffed. “And almost got herself killed and an Eva lost in the process! Shinji killed five, the Eva only suffered extensive damage once, and he was severely hurt twice, the first-time protecting idiot civilians, the second because Asuka didn’t heed his advice and refused to support him! The Second may have better scores than Ayanami, but Ayanami is the one who helped Shinji kill the Seventh. The First Children had the worst machine and the worst record, but because she’s willing to work with Shinji, she saved the day where Asuka put the best, top-of-the-line machine down for weeks with nothing to show for it!”

Naomi sighed and took a sip of her tea. “Besides, he’s essentially an Ace but he remains humble. Anytime someone thanks him for what he does, he’s all adorably awkward.”

Hana smiled. “I know right? Then there’s the daddy issues, makes me just want to bundle him up in a hug and spoil him rotten.”

Against her better judgment, Maya stepped into the ring. “Hey! Don’t go trying anything! Him and Ayanami just got together!”

Hana’s smile became a little lecherous. “The West has a saying, ‘in wine, truth’ going by what he said to Kaede…”

“Oi, you keep me out of whatever you’re doing.” Kaede piped in, her face red enough that Maya wasn’t sure how much of what she was saying was obligation.

“Look, we all heard him say he wants a girl with big tits, and everyone at this table has a bigger set than Ayanami.”

“Hana!” Maya, Naomi and Kaede all said, outraged, long-suffering, and tired, respectively.

“I’m just willing to say what we were all thinking.” Hana said with a cheeky grin.

“Studying in America rotted your brain.” Kaede sighed. “You got infected with the American Mind Virus. You are essentially a Loud American. I should know better than to expect common decency from you.”

“Look me in the eye and tell me that if Shinji and Ayanami both proposed to spend a night together, you’d turn them down.” Hana stated.

“Of course we would!” Maya stated with conviction, then blinked and realized she was the only one who had spoken, she turned her betrayed eyes to her companions. “Naomi? Kaede?”

Naomi blushed and stared down at the table. Kaede…

“Erm…Don’t look at me like that, Maya, he checks a lot of my boxes, alright? My brothers thought I was into the wrestling scene because I liked the hobby, but actually…well…” Her face turned red from her neckline to her scalp. “I’ve always been into big manly men, and just look at him! He’s like a hundred kilograms of muscle! And he thinks I’m cute! And…and you know, he’s a fighter and…” She looked away and began pressing the fingertips of her index fingers against each other repeatedly and murmured. “Well, he’s saving the world, if the hero that’s saving the world wants a little comfort when he isn’t high because of pain drugs, who am I to tell him no?”

Maya felt like she’d been punched in the gut, which was strange, as she hadn’t been in a fight in her whole life and nobody had ever struck her, but she felt like she had, nonetheless. “And…and Ayanami?”

Kaede’s face, impossible as it should be, turned a darker red. “I’m not really into girls but…well she’s adorable, and tiny, and exotic, and Shinji likes her, and he seems to like very few people, so she’s probably okay so…I would not be against experimenting so long as both of them are okay with it and involved.”

Maya clutched her head. “I…I don’t know what to do with this information.”

Hana snorted. “Join us in darkness, we have cookies.”

The Angel attack alarm sounded just then, and the four of them scrambled out of their seats and ran to the control room, the conversation, for the moment, forgotten.

What Maya saw on the screen of the control room horrified her.

A black hole in orbit around Earth. An AT Field so powerful it trapped light itself and prevented it from escaping.

Maya analyzed the information she had access to and prepared her report.

“A kinetic orbital strike.”

Maya jumped and squeaked at the sudden baritone behind her. She turned around and found herself face-to-stomach with the Miracle Pilot wearing a comically tight NERV uniform and a regulation-violating baseball cap. “Eh?”

He leaned over her and pointed to the satellite image of the sea on her screen. “Look at those waves. Perfectly circular waves don’t exactly happen naturally, plus going by the time between photos, the strikes are hours apart and still propagating. That thing, whatever it is, is detaching a,” he squinted, “eight-to-ten-ton piece of itself and letting gravity do the rest. It’s done three strikes that fell in the ocean, assuming it was aiming for here…”

The geofront trembled as a low magnitude earthquake shook the ground.

Shinji smiled…no, no he didn’t smile.

He showed his teeth.

“We aren’t dead, meaning it missed, but by a decreased margin of error. Going by the timestamp of the second and third orbital strikes, we have about two hours before that thing takes another potshot…Maybe twelve before it drops on us.”

Maya gasped as new satellite imagery appeared on the screen, showing a large crater. “But…if a piece of itself caused that much damage, a strike with its whole body would destroy HQ!”

“And us along with it.” Shinji said, nodding calmly. “Which means Rei and I are going to have to catch it and toss it back…oh, and Asuka.”

Maya looked at him, flabbergasted. He spoke so casually about catching an attack from orbit. Maya was no ballistics expert, but that sounded impossible.

But…but Shinji had already done what was thought impossible before, why would it be any different now?

Maya felt her resolve harden, she and everyone else in the control room all felt calmer, there was a sudden surety of purpose, a sense that everything, truly, would be alright.

They had Shinji, he said he would handle it, so of course it would be handled. When had he ever failed them?

“There you are! You’re supposed to be in bed!”

Maya jumped at the scream and turned to see a frazzled looking nurse pointing accusingly at the Miracle Pilot.

“Woop woop woop woop woop!” Shinji made a weird noise, ran to the edge of the sheer drop and jumped over!?

Maya ran to the edge and looked down. Akagi Naoko had jumped from that height and killed herself! The best that could be hoped for would be a shattered spine!

She reached the edge…only to see Shinji making a controlled descent, using makeshift handholds and the smallest ridges to arrest his fall, landing on the bottom floor completely unharmed.

“For the love of God, SOMEONE STOP HIM!” The nurse shouted next to Maya, pointing down at the pilot, who wove between the confused personnel with little issue, and made his escape, the only sign of his passing a fading. “Woooooop!”

The nurse turned around and ran to the elevator, screaming into a radio. “He’s taken the West exit from the control room! Cut off the access routes and for crying out loud someone get Ayanami to corral him!”

Maya and the control room crew all watched in  confused silence as the nurse made her exit.

“Wh…What?” Maya asked.

=][=

Misato wasn’t sure how to feel about the current situation.

An orbital Angel that just might make a hundred-and-twenty kilometer wide crater. That was bad.

Under Directive D17, NERV and the UN had managed to evacuate Tokyo-3 in under ten hours, suffering less than three dozen casualties. A logistical miracle worthy of praise. That was good.

The Angel’s AT Field was so powerful that dozens of aerial N2 mines were about as effective as firecrackers. That was bad.

Its presence was causing an ECM storm that made long-distance communication impossible. The Director and Deputy Director both on a mission to Antartica, making Misato the seniormost officer in NERV. This was both good and bad.

Misato had put forward a plan to stop the Angel annihilating HQ. A crazy idea that the MAGI system predicted had a 99.9999997% chance of failure. This, predictably, received pushback from Ritsuko, and quiet but noticeable grumbling from the ranks. This was bad.

Shinji cockily strode into the room dressed in his Plug Suit and said he ‘liked the cut of your jib, Misato,’ and made a short but poignant speech about the Indomitable Human Spirit, and how the Pilots, with the help of NERV’s analysts and support staff, had put a halt on every apocalypse that had befallen them to date, and this one would be no different.

This had improved morale and quelled any discontent in the ranks (and, very notoriously and surprisingly, Ritsuko) about the suicidal attempt. This was good.

This drove home for Misato that Shinji’s Cult of Personality was growing past what might be easily controlled, if at all, as he’d made no allusion as to their mission being achievable. He merely stated he’d get it done, odds be damned and everyone, including those who should know better, had agreed. That was bad.

Now Misato stood in the Command Center. Out of all NERV’s staff who had been ordered to evacuate, more than two thirds had refused the order and insisted on manning their stations. And considering this included the security staff, Misato faced the very real possibility of a mutiny if she tried to force the issue. That was bad.

So, Misato sat on a shaky throne. A Senior Officer who effectively found herself beholden to one of her underlings behaving for her Command Authority not to collapse under her.

And the stack of complaints from the medical staff regarding Shinji’s (admittedly harmless) pranks and rabblerousing made any notion of his behaving a shaky proportion at best.

Misato felt a pang of guilt and pain at that, she…all of NERV really, knew so little about their most valuable asset. Until she read a report of Shinji somehow successfully impersonating a doctor for over an hour, actively being part of the search to find himself, she realized she’d mentally catalogued him as a necessary evil.

Reading the reports of his, to use his own word, ‘shenanigans’, was an enlightening experience.

The image painted by the reports was of an admittedly selfish but nonetheless good-hearted prankster. He never gave the staff a hard time once he was ‘caught’ or someone figured out the riddle he left behind, he followed the slightest and weakest nurse back to his room without complaint.

He only got up to mischief when the staff was having a slow day. And while his pranks were an annoyance and inconvenience, they weren’t harmful or truly disruptive. A growing number of the medical staff were even beginning to find them fun.

How he’d managed to sneak around the base and set up a scavenger hunt of all things…

The reports painted a much different picture from the cold, angry, deliberately misanthropic young man who was exactly as polite as necessitated by his contract and not an iota more.

And, having obsessed over the reports in her free time, desperate to find a pattern, a key that would help her reconcile this stranger with the young man she knew…the reason she found had been as obvious as it was heartbreaking.

Shinji’s coldness was proportional to how high in the NERV hierarchy one was. Those in positions of authority, and thus, close to his father, were treated with thinly veiled disdain.

The closer to the bottom one got, the warmer and friendlier Shinji became. To the point that it was a great shock to learn that the custodial staff had nothing but praise for the boy.

To see him go above and beyond, to shoulder the weight of the expectations of the entirety of NERV, and to have the temerity to tell people twice his age not to worry, everything would be alright because he was there and he would deal with it. It was eye opening, shocking, and dismaying to see the potential the boy squandered out of spite.

Misato could not help but wonder what they could achieve if Shinji’s attitude toward the upper echelons of NERV was less vitriolic. But she had to acknowledge that those doors were well and truly closed.

“Listen up you three.” Misato said and took a deep breath. She then went over the operation one final time.

The plan was as simple as it was daring. Spread the three Evas equidistant to each other at the edges of the predicted diameter of possible impact. The Angel’s AT Field was blocking all forms of tracking that weren’t visual, obfuscating its exact descent, so the three Pilots would have to eyeball it, catch it, and kill it.

And if they failed, Tokyo-3 and NERV HQ would be turned into slag and rubble.

“Everyone’s hopes are riding on you.” She finished gravely.

[Once we kill this thing, send someone to the supermarket and steal as much meat as possible. We’re having us a cookout!] Shinji declared suddenly.

[Steal? Aren’t you filthy rich?] Asuka butted in.

“The target has begun its descent.” Hyuga butted in.

“Operation start!” Misato called out; brief moment of levity forgotten.

The three Evas on the screen quickly worked up to a flat-out sprint, going from standing to 300 kilometers per hour in a matter of seconds. The three converging in the direction of the pitch-black sphere as it descended.

Misato felt her lips twitch into a smile. The MAGI predicted that Units 02 and 00 would both be able to reach the point of impact. Yeah, Tokyo-3’s streets would require extensive repair, an Eva at a flat-out sprint was not a discriminate tool, but Misato had a feeling that she would be forgiven the relatively minor damage.

That was when the black sphere shattered, revealing a rainbow-colored sphere with an AT Field projected in front of it. Before her eyes, the AT Field angled itself and the Angel moved.

“The Target’s AT Field has morphed! It’s changing trajectory!” Aoba said.

“Target’s speed increasing! New estimated impact site!” Hyuga said tensely.

Misato looked at the new information. Only for her thoughts to be surmised by the Pilots.

[Scheiße! I won’t make it in time now!] Asuka cursed.

Shinji, in contrast, sounded cold as he said. [Rei, just hold on until I get there. I believe in you.]

Before Misato’s eyes, Pilot 00’s synchronization rate rose by seven percent at Shinji’s words. [I will.]

“The target has morphed again!” Hyuga called out as the sphere unwrapped itself in a perverse parody of a blooming flower, the Angel’s body spreading out, it gained a core that looked like an eye, two stalks branching out into rainbow-colored petals, and all of it on fire from atmospheric friction. “Target speed increasing! Time to impact eight seconds!”

The NERV staff were forced to watch helplessly as Unit 00 skid to a stop under that descending mass and brought its AT Field to maximum, throwing its arms up to catch the descending Angel. The shoulders of everyone in the HQ hunching, teeth being grit in preparation of the impact that would decide their fate.

The Angel impacted and was repelled.

Rei screamed in agony as Unit 00 was driven to its knees.

But she’d stopped the Angel.

One of the screens beeped shrilly. “Unit 00’s spine has suffered a compression fracture! Micro-fractures of lower extremities!” Maya called out.

The Angel’s weight settled on the Eva, whose back bowed under the burden.

[Shinji, hurry!] Rei grunted.

Yet another alarm sounded. “Pilot 01’s synchronization rate is rising! One hundred! A hundred-thirty, hundred-seventy, two hundred! Two hundred and thirty!” Ritsuko shouted.

“Unit 01’s AT Field is deployed and morphing! It’s creating a…an airfoil!?” Maya called out.

On the screen, Unit 01 fell to all fours and pulled itself forward with its arms at the same time that it pushed itself forward with its legs, its extremities a blur.

“Unit 01 is accelerating! 350 kph, 450, 600, 800…” Hyuga said before falling silent, his mouth falling open.

Misato struggled to understand what was happening as, with a bass roar, Evangelion Unit 01 gained a condensation collar and created a shockwave that burst every window in its vicinity and turned over lighter cars.

“Unit 01.” Hyuga said slowly, robotically. Reporting out of habit as his brain failed to wrap around his reality. “Running at Mach 1.32.”

“What…what even is an Evangelion?” Aoba wondered in awe.

“Keep your heads in the game!” Misato snapped. Bringing both Aoba and Hyuga out of their trance.

Shinji reached Ayanami in seconds instead of the projected minutes. Unit 01 skidding to a halt on its knees next to the prototype. Its AT Field deployed with such force that the ground around it compressed in a circle and the light around it gained a purple hue.

[You get off my girl you worthless sack of shit!] Shinji shouted, the Evangelion throwing its arms up and pushing to its feet, raising the Angel off the embattled 00, then, with a half-hysteric laugh, he shouted. [This all you got? You have any idea how much I can lift!?]

Out of the center, a humanoid body was extruded, reaching out with two spindly arms, it cut two holes through Shinji’s AT Field and clasped hands with Unit 01.

[Hah! Gaaaaaaay!] Shinji shouted as Unit 01 grasped back hard enough to crush the Angel’s hands and draw blood.

Then the Angel’s arms turned into corkscrews, stabbing through Unit 01’s hands and into its shoulders.

[COCK SUCKER!] Shinji shouted in English, and went into a tirade as, behind the Angel, a jet of plasma formed, pushing it down further.

“Stigmatic wounds appearing on Shinji!” Maya called out, shouting over Shinji’s string of curses and insults. “His hands, arms and shoulders have lacerations, and three of his ribs have fractured!”

Unit 00 rose back to its feet on shaky legs and added its AT Field to Unit 01’s, relieving some of the pressure.

[02, the core!] Rei called out as one of the knees of 00 gave out, the ligament exploding out in a shower of gore.

[Don’t tell me what to do!] Asuka called out, arriving with twenty seconds to spare in the Evas’ battery.

Unit 02 jumped, tore through the hastily erected AT Field by the Angel, crashed into its humanoid body, and sank its progressive knife into the core in its chest to the hilt, screaming. [Sterb!]

The blade of the progressive knife broke off, leading to Asuka extruding more of the knife out of the handle and stabbing the core again.

After her third stab, the Angel’s core went dark, and with a bass, whale-like whimper, the great Angel-flower died and folded gently over the ground.

Unit 01 broke the corkscrew limbs and tackled 00 to the ground. Misato did not have a lot of time to wonder why as the Angel exploded, bringing the image on the screen to static as the blast destroyed the drones they’d been using to keep track of the situation.

Misato let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding. As the Command Staff cheered, she whispered. “Thank you. The three of you. Thank you.”

The MAGI were compiling damage reports for the Tokyo-3 districts damaged during the operation and showcased a summary of the damage suffered by the Evas and the pilots.

Unit 02 had suffered minor damage. Nothing beyond smudged paint and cracked armor plates. Asuka vitals were all normal and she was in good health. Unit 02 would be back in action after little more than standard maintenance.

Unit 00 had suffered moderate damage, though the systems damaged were the slowest and costliest to repair. Ayanami’s vitals were elevated, but she was in good health overall. If it was repaired, it would take a few weeks before it was field-worthy once again.

Unit 01 had suffered severe damage, both of its arms were shattered, much of its ribcage was fractured, and it had torn several ligaments on its legs, much of it beyond the Hayflick limit. Shinji was wounded, his vitals were not normal, but he was steady and not declining. It would once again be weeks before Shinji could be given a clean bill of health, and months at the earliest when Unit 01 could be made operational once again.

[Oi…Rei, you okay?] Shinji asked over the radio, his voice rough and tightly controlled.

Shinji grunted. [I’m good, it’s just a scratch.]

“His wounds are quite severe ma’am.” Maya said. “Permission to expedite his retrieval.”

Misato didn’t need to spend any time thinking on it. “Permission granted. Expedite Rei’s first, knowing him, he will refuse exfil until he knows she is secure.”

Aoba turned to Misato. “Long-range communication is back online. Incoming transmission from Director Ikari.”

Misato pushed herself to stand to attention before saying. “Patch him through.”

The moment the screen in front of her said the Director had been connected, she spoke. “My apologies, sir. My decisions resulted in damage to all three Evas, and the injuries of two Pilots. I take full responsibility for this operation, sir.”

[No matter, that is a small price to pay. The important thing is you defeated the Angel.] The Director said.

[Agreed, you performed excellently, Major Katsuragi.] The Deputy Director piped in.

“Thank you, sir.” Misato said, her shoulders unclenching.

Misato blinked. She didn’t think that a good idea but had no choice in the matter as she motioned for Aoba to patch the call through.

[You did well. Good work, Shinji.] The Director said, giving the once-in-a-blue-moon bit of praise that precious few in NERV had ever received.

[I didn’t do it for you.] Shinji answered, his voice so cold and calm that Misato could perfectly picture his snarl as he spoke. [Never for you.]

There was a long pause before the Director spoke again, sounding almost wistful. [I understand. Nonetheless, you have my thanks. Major Katsuragi, I will leave you to handle the rest.]

“Yes sir!” She answered, and the Director cut communications. She went on about her duties, overseeing the retrieval.

After a few minutes, she snorted and turned to Hyuga. “Hey, go to the supermarket and buy the whole meat isle. I have enough authority to put that as an expense for this operation.”

Her words got another cheer from the NERV staff.

Thankfully, Misato didn’t need to cook during the cookout, she couldn’t cook anything that didn’t come out of a microwave.