Kaiju Slaying For Death And Profit Ch 38
Good evening y'all.
Sorry for the late post. Was busy all week taking care of stuff that I had put off cause no time thanks to spending so long at work. When I was finished the chapter earlier today, I played with my dog cause she'd been waiting mostly patiently for me to finish, and lost track of time chasing her around the house and playing tug of war with her favorite rag.
But enough about canines and why they're awesome.
Here is chapter. I worked pretty hard on it, I hope y'all enjoy it.
Drop me a comment letting me know!
Expect a writing update soon(TM) discussing the winner of the side story poll.
Thank you so much for reading and your support. I'll try and write a thank-you post on Christmas, but I might be a tad busy, so just in case I can't, Merry Christmas, stay safe out there.
=][=
“And where does he get off acting all high and mighty?” Asuka said, not missing a beat in her long marathon of complaining about Shinji while playing in Hikari’s game console. “He didn’t even study! He didn’t even study, but he gets a perfect score on the test and his answer as to how is ‘I cheated, duh?’ How does that make sense!? We were all in the same room! What, did he pay a teacher to falsify his grades? But I looked at his paper! All his answers were written in his godawful handwriting! And they were all correct! And we all took the test at the same time in the same room! Then he says he cheated by ‘having it all in his head’!?”
Man, Asuka had it hard.
“And then he just says that his cheating is ‘on another level!?’ How does that even work!? What even are the levels!? How the hell does someone cheat by knowing all the stuff in the test!?” Asuka continued unabated.
Hikari sighed quietly. She really felt for Asuka.
After the whole cat café thing a couple weeks back, Asuka had begun talking about Shinji.
A lot.
Sure, most of it was negative. But Hikari had known Asuka long enough to at the very least suspect that what came out of her mouth and what went on in her head were very seldom the same thing. And with how often she complained about Shinji…that told Hikari that Shinji spent a lot of time in Asuka’s thoughts.
“And furthermore, how come he gets a whole apartment to himself!? Without a guardian!? Sure he has Maya now, but for the longest time he didn’t have a guardian!”
Poor Asuka. She’d fallen for one of the oldest tricks in the book. Shinji had out Tsuned her so bad that she was in the middle of transitioning to Dere. And not only could the poor girl not see it, but her competition was also steep.
Rei was beautiful. Weird. But beautiful, exotic even. And ever since the last fight against an Angel, she had changed subtly. She was more approachable, now, more expressive and talkative. And by everything Hikari had seen, she was very supportive and even enthusiastic as Shinji’s girlfriend.
And Hikari had started to harbor some scandalous suspicions about Maya…Though considering the fact that Shinji had literally saved the world like a dozen times…
Hikari shook her head before she could finish that thought.
The very notion was indecent!
But…But he’d gone against orders to save Hikari’s life.
And he had saved the world a bunch. So what if he had two girlfriends, one of which was his legal guardian?
Rei didn’t seem to mind anyways.
Sure, it was weird. But he’d saved the world, so it was fine.
Probably.
“And then he went on like, a two-hour tirade about tanks, tanks! He dared to say that the Panzer IV was an overengineered piece of garbage! The Panzer IV was a marvel of engineering! A marvel, Hikari! And it had many variants that were used throughout the war! Sure, there were some issues when attempting maintenance in suboptimal conditions, but that was not the fault of the design!”
And then there was Asuka.
Loud, abrasive, arrogant, rude, self-absorbed Asuka Langley Soryu. The girl whose first interaction with the boy she talked nonstop about was to tell him, as Hikari recalled, “You’ve been lucky, Third. But beginners’ luck can only take you so far. I’ll magnanimously allow you to learn from me!”
She then proceeded to embarrass herself and he got hurt because Asuka refused to be a team player.
“But while the big oaf is heavy, all you really need to do is make Rei hold his hand, then push Rei and he’ll follow like a lost puppy! It’s hilarious.”
Asuka. Who, unless Hikari had made a big miscalculation. Had a crush on the boy who was saving the world and already had two beautiful girlfriends who did not strike Hikari as difficult to get along with. One of whom even had the appeal of a cute older woman!
And judging by the fact that Hikari had seen how the two got along when Shinji wasn’t in the room, if they were both dating him, then either he somehow kept that perfectly secret from the both of them while living in the same apartment, or they were aware and didn’t mind.
Which…well…that sounded indecent!
But Shinji was saving the world so…
Hikari started as she realized what she was doing. Asuka didn’t notice, she was busy going on about Shinji’s choice of casualwear.
Hikari found herself making excuses for an arrangement that, if her suspicions were correct, was very indecent.
Asuka was crushing on a boy she at first couldn’t stand who may or may not have two girlfriends.
Shinji refused to acknowledge his family name, didn’t know the absolute basic etiquette expected of anyone who was raised in the Japanese school system, and he was a male tsundere.
Kaworu out of nowhere spent all of the time he could doing volunteer work around the city.
Rei was Rei.
Asuka was right, only weird people were Evangelion Pilots!
Hikari had been made weird!
She had held on as long as she could! But she had fallen!
Shinji’s nonsense had infected her!
Hikari took a deep breath and did the only healthy thing she could think of.
She buried the uncomfortable revelation as deep as she could and concentrated on something else to make certain it was out of mind.
“So, Asuka.” Hikari spoke for the first time in what felt like hours, cutting off Asuka’s previously unending stream of consciousness. “Did something happen, between you and Shinji?”
Asuka stared at Hikari, her face quickly melting into embarrassment as her face became redder than her hair. She didn’t even notice when her character died on the screen. “W-W-Whaaaaaat? Between me and that big oaf? N-Nooooo? How could it have? That makes no sense Hikari! Utter nonsense! No way no how! Hikari you’re talking crazy! How could I possibly just, naaaaaaaa.”
“Okay. But. You’ve been talking about him a lot.” Hikari said slowly. “So I figured…”
Asuka jumped to her feet. “Whaaaaat? No no no! Absolutely not! Why would I be thinking about joining that big doofus’ harem!?”
Hikari blinked. That…had not been her question.
Asuka began pacing, talking a mile a minute. “Why would I? Me!? Asuka Langley Soryu!? Absolutely not! Someone with genes of utmost quality like me taint my bloodline with his humongous musculoskeletal structure!? Absolutely not! Hikari you’re talking crazy!”
“Uhhh…”
Asuka continued unabated. “So what if Rei essentially gave me the invitation!? That’s nonsense! Asuka Langley Soryu does not approach someone else with hat in hand! Asuka Langley Soryu goes out and takes what she wants! And why would she want that doofus!? Sure he’s big, and he’s pleasing enough to the eye! And like I said before he’s got an exemplary musculoskeletal structure! And there is also Rei! And Maya! And Asuka Langley Soryu isn’t into girls, but she can appreciate the aesthetics of the female form because she is female and an exemplary example of such, so she can understand beauty where she finds it! But why would Asuka Langley Soryu bow down just because of that!?”
“Erm…why is Asuka speaking of herself in the third person?” Hikari asked.
“Asuka Langley Soryu is absolutely not interested in that big doofus!” Asuka said, her breath heaving like she’d run a marathon.
Hikari stared.
Impossible as it should be, Asuka’s face became redder by the second. Probably as her brain replayed everything that had just spilled out of her mouth back to her.
“So…Shinji is in a relationship with Rei and Maya?” Hikari asked.
Asuka’s mouth opened and closed helplessly before she said. “I didn’t say that.”
“Asuka.” Hikari hesitated but decided to force herself forward. “Asuka, you’ve been talking nonstop about Shinji for days.”
“That doesn’t sound like me.”
“And you were the one that brought up entering a relationship with him.”
“Asuka Langley Soryu is not so weak as that!”
“Asuka.” Hikari took a deep breath. “Maybe…maybe there is some stuff you need to work through? I can tell that this has been bothering you a lot. So…maybe you should just go for it?”
Asuka opened and closed her mouth several times before saying. “But…I…That…You’re not?”
Hikari sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Asuka…I don’t even know anymore. Before becoming an Evangelion pilot, I’m sure I would be screaming about it being indecent but…But you were right. We are Evangelion pilots. The usual rules don’t apply to us. And they apply to Shinji least of all. So what if he has two girlfriends? He nearly got himself killed…no, what happened to him because he saved me, was almost worse than death. And then he went and saved the world again anyways.
“Every time we get in the Eva, every time we fight, we risk getting killed for the sake of the world. And…even if I’m not a very good pilot. Even if I haven’t been much help. I think, I think it would be best for you to enjoy what you can, while you still can. If that makes any sense.” Hikari trailed off, her face feeling hot, her hands incapable of staying still.
Asuka stared at her, her blue eyes wide as saucers as her mouth flapped open and closed repeatedly.
She then said. “Meep!” And sprinted out of the room.
Hikari sighed. “Well…there she goes.”
She let herself fall backwards onto her bed, then with a sigh, forced herself to get up and shut off the game console that Asuka had been using.
=][=
“So I’m not really sure what to do. Maya has been really stressed as of late. I think something happened between her and Ritsuko that has put a lot of strain on their relationship.” Rei said her dainty hands cradling a bottle of the apple-flavored soda she liked so much. “I’ve tried to help her relax as much as I can, but any time I ask her what the cause of her issue is, she clams up and gets angry and sad. She tells me not to worry about it. But I don’t know what to do.”
Hikari took a sip of her own soda, the plug suit as usual feeling like it was a couple sizes too small and riding uncomfortably up between her butt cheeks. She still marveled at how Rei could look comfortable in it.
Hikari leaned back on the couch in the waiting room. On the screen, she could see that Shinji and Nagisa were locked neck to neck at 98% synchronization with Units 01 and 04. Asuka lagging behind them but still doing very well at 88%.
On her last test a few days back, Hikari’s own synchronization had reached a whopping 29% before she had a panic attack and fully desynchronized.
Rei had surprised everyone that day by reaching an 82% synchronization with Unit 01, officially marking her as a valid backup pilot for 01 in case Shinji was ever too hurt to sally out.
Hikari shook her head and concentrated; Rei had confided in her! She couldn’t get distracted!
“So, have you asked her why she doesn’t want to tell you?” Hikari asked.
Rei let out a soft exhalation, almost a sigh. “I did, and she said that it was something best not brought up. But to trust her that she was handling it.”
Hikari hummed. “Well, on the one hand it might be bad to push because it may seem like you don’t trust her. But if you’re right, then the situation as it stands can’t continue either.”
Rei nodded. “And I don’t want Maya to think I don’t believe in her…She is one of the few who have shown me that I can put my faith in her.”
Hikari rolled Rei’s trouble in her head while she formulated her response. “Well…I think that the best thing to do is just talk to Maya. Sit down with her and explain to her why you’re worried. Maybe don’t push her to tell you, but make sure she understands that you’re there for her if she ever feels the need to talk.”
Hikari thought back to what Asuka had said last night, about Shinji, Rei, and Maya.
“Maybe…I dunno. Ask her if there is anything you can do to help her relax?”
Rei mulled that over for a while before saying. “Yes, I think that’d be for the best. Thanks, Hikari.”
Hikari smiled. “It’s what I’m here for.”
Not like she could be of any help inside an Eva.
[Pilot 00 to the testing chamber. Pilot 00 to the testing chamber.]
Hikari blinked. Only Rei?
Rei stood up. “I’ll be back later.”
“Y-Yeah, be careful.” Hikari said with a wave that Rei surprisingly returned as she walked out of the waiting room and into the hallway leading to the testing chamber, throwing her empty bottle into the recycling bin on the way.
Leaving Hikari alone.
In the waiting room.
Accompanied only by the surprisingly comfortable chairs, and the vending machines.
And she couldn’t leave because she might get called for testing, even though she was just going to fail again.
Hikari refused to acknowledge the burning in her eyes and sniffled hard.
The worst thing was, everyone still looked at her like she was going to do something incredible. Everyone still expected her to suddenly just…get in the Eva and pull some Shinji-level craziness.
Kodama didn’t explicitly say so, but Hikari could see it in her eyes. Kodama knew Shinji had saved Hikari ‘for a reason.’ Shinji, the savior of mankind, would never do something as dumb as risking not only his life, but the entirety of the world for the sake of some no-good, talentless schoolgirl who couldn’t control her Eva all that well.
Hikari sniffled harder and cursed the lack of pockets in the plug suit. No way to carry a handkerchief on this dumb thing other than holding it!
“H-Here you go.”
Hikari blinked and looked up, seeing Asuka holding out a few napkins. She was fidgeting, her face red and she did not meet Hikari’s gaze as she held out the napkins.
“Oh! Y-Yes, thank you.” She said, taking them and dabbing at her eyes and blowing her nose. “I’m sorry.”
Asuka took a deep breath, then her face turned very red and she ran off, not giving Hikari a chance to say goodbye.
“Why apologize?” Nagisa said, he had come in behind Asuka, but he’d been so quiet that Hikari had barely noticed him, he sat down on the couch that had previously been occupied by Rei. “You were dealing with something and were momentarily overwhelmed, there is nothing to apologize for in that.”
“N-No, I…I’m sorry.” Hikari said lamely.
Nagisa chuckled.
He didn’t speak, he was merely…there, but something about him was…almost inviting her to speak.
She remained quiet for a while before asking. “So, why was only Rei called for testing and not me?”
‘Am I that much of a failure?’ was left unasked.
“Some of the synaptic accelerators burnt out in Unit 04 during testing.” Nagisa answered. “They need to swap those out before continuing.”
“Ah.” So it wasn’t just because Hikari was a failure.
Nagisa got up and bought a soda, then sat back down, he popped it open and took a sip before saying. “Rei is doing well.”
Hikari looked up at the screen, and saw that Rei currently sat at 86% synchronization, the number held there for a few seconds before dropping to 84%, jumping to 87%, before falling slowly back to 83%.
“Eighty-seven is a new high for her.” Hikari said, feeling both happy for her friend, and deeply envious.
“Yes, though I’m not surprised. The soul inside the Eva has changed.” Nagisa said.
“The soul inside the Eva?”
“Yes. To synchronize with the Eva, you must open yourself to it, but it must also open itself to you. Unit 00 only ever reluctantly opened itself to Ayanami, Unti 01 was much the same. Though lately it has become far more welcoming of her, and a lot more hostile to me.” Nagisa said.
Hikari made a sound that sounded vaguely like agreement.
Nagisa smiled. “You don’t believe me.”
Hikari gulped. “W-Well…I don’t know. Aren’t they just robots? How can robots have a soul?”
Nagisa chuckled. “You have felt their rage though. You have felt their anger, and their fear. Their protectiveness and spite. Fear and rage are older than humanity, how can they be anything other than alive. If they’re alive, how could they not have a soul?”
Hikari mulled that over in her head. “I dunno…”
Nagisa hummed and sipped his soda. “Your low synchronization is not your fault.”
Hikari choked on air.
“At least not completely.” He continued. “You have largely closed yourself to the Eva. It’s understandable why, but you weren’t the only one that was hurt when the Angel attacked you. Your Eva’s soul largely regressed, retreating from the violation, and when you synchronize, it is forced to remember that attack.”
He took a sip of his soda before scowling down at the floor. “And when it does, instead of taking it, or trying to help it cope with its violation, you retreat, leaving it floundering.”
Hikari sputtered. “B-But if that’s the case, how come you have no trouble piloting Unit 04!?”
Nagisa snorted. “That’s because I cheat. The more the Eva’s soul retreats, the easier it is for me to control it.” His phone beeped, but he ignored it and continued. “If you want to reclaim your rightful spot as a pilot. You need to stop retreating from the memory of the Thirteenth. You need to face it head-on; to surpass it, only then will you be able to aid your Eva in the way that it needs.”
Inevitably, her mind went back to that day, she could still remember the feeling of that awful light forcing its way inside her. Filling every nook and cranny as it took from her what it wanted, as she screamed and begged it to stop, and it didn’t, until Shinji came and made it stop.
Hikari realized she was shivering, and at some point had wrapped her arms around herself and she had hunched forward as if expecting a blow.
Nagisa was there, gently rubbing her back. “Slow down your breathing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. You can get through this. Follow my breathing, in, and out.”
Hikari realized she was breathing very quickly and shallowly. She followed his instructions, her breathing evening out and slowing.
“Don’t bury it where it can fester.” He continued, his phone beeping continuously. “It is painful, but the wound will scab over, and eventually scar, and you will be made all the stronger for it.”
After a while, Hikari’s heart no longer felt like it was trying to tear itself out of her chest, she was still shivering, but she didn’t feel like she was drowning.
Nagisa’s phone continued to beep.
“Shouldn’t you get that?” She asked, her voice decidedly wet and tremulous.
“It’s not more important than helping you through this.” He said.
“H-How do you know? You-We, are Pilots, it could be about an Angel.”
“It’s not an Angel.” Nagisa said with a shake of his head.
“How do you know?”
He chuckled. “I just do.”
Strangely enough, Hikari believed him. She continued to concentrate on her breathing. Eventually asking. “Where is Shinji?”
“He went to the observation room for the duration of Rei’s test. He was very insistent.”
Hikari snorted. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”
After several more minutes, Hikari found she was calm, Nagisa’s presence helping her to center herself despite his constantly beeping phone…and she realized she knew virtually nothing about the other Pilot. So wrapped up in her own head had she been the whole time he’d been at NERV.
The only things she knew about him were that he and Shinji didn’t get along at first, that he was a very talented Pilot, and that he volunteered at various soup kitchens.
Also, he was very nice, as she had just learned.
So, as the silence stretched and his phone continued to beep with incoming messages, Hikari decided to do something about her ignorance. “So uhh…Do you have any siblings?”
Nagisa smiled. “I did.”
“Did?”
“Yes, they’re all dead now.”
Hikari gasped. “I’m so sorry!”
“Don’t be.” He sighed. “It was necessary.”
Maybe he came from a military background? Hikari knew several people from her class that had never met older siblings or aunts and uncles because they died shortly after the Second Impact.
“I can’t imagine a world without my sisters.” She said, shivering as that terrible idea ghosted over her. “Also, you really should check whatever that is.”
Nagisa hummed as he brought out his phone. He flipped it open and read whatever message it was that he had been receiving, and the friendly, approachable expression on his face melted away. Hikari would call the expression that his face assumed to be ‘apathy’ but it wasn’t.
It was missing something. Something small but vital. She tried to talk, but her throat shut tight, she could barely breathe.
He didn’t seem like the same person anymore.
“Go home, Horaki Hikari.” He said, looking down at his phone, his face a blank mask. “Embrace your sisters. The time you have to enjoy such things is far too short. So, make sure to take advantage of it while you still can.”
He stood up and walked away; something clutched in his left hand.
It was a long time before Hikari was able to breathe again.
She sat there, wondering what had just happened, her eyes drawn to the ring of moisture that had formed in the spot where Nagisa’s drink used to be.
“I need to talk to Shinji.” She said and threw herself to her feet.
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