Oh hey, it’s the hospital’s ceiling. Who’da thunk. 

I brought my currently all technically deceased retinue up on my HUD. Two Angels stared back at me.

I also had seventy-five Credits burning a hole in my proverbial pocket, so it was time to do some purchases and with my exit strategy secured and charging, take the first steps in hopefully unfucking things here.

My main issue was that I didn't have anyone I could trust and work with. To get all the Angels would be relatively easy, all I’d need to do to complete my mission was to fight and kill the Angels. When the world ends, bring along anyone I happened to like enough to bring along. Boom, mission accomplished.

But a small, shriveled up part of me wanted to be the Hero. I wanted to stop the conspiracy put in motion by sociopathic rich assholes to doom the entirety of their species to get flawed pseudo-immortality as unsapient goo.

But I couldn't do that, not alone. I'd never be allowed in a room with the ones in charge. I'd never be able to sneak away to try and find them. I was watched too closely. Monitored far too harshly. And if I used the Stamp overtly the perception filters might very well fail, NERV was already looking for mystical bullshit, a bit of slaving mind control might not get past them.

I needed a team, a group I could trust, enough to sneak into NERV and get names and locations. To build equipment for my eventual battle against two or three separate factions trying to end the world.

I didn’t have a team. And I didn’t have enough Credits to purchase one either. But there was one advantage to being from a Recruitment world. Our one claim to fame being that our minutely powerful psychics received visions of parallel worlds and used them as inspiration for their works. And I knew just who would be able to wade through the numerous issues and secure me the heads of the fuckers I needed dead.

I went into the Companions tab on my phone and looked for the agents of the Callidus Temple. Any of them could be trusted with the persecution of my war against the idiots in charge.

I made my purchase, forty-eight credits disappearing in an instant. I had her. Delivered to my Interdimensional apartment.

I was fairly certain that my actual apartment was heavily bugged, as was the school, and any place I’d frequented. I’d have to be careful about meeting up with my new assassin. It was paramount that she remained an unknown until I was ready to go loud.

I heard footsteps approaching long before the door opened. Rei walked in, her face betraying no emotion, but I could see a smidge of relief in her eyes.

My plan to crawl into her heart via her stomach was working well.

“Shinji, there’s a vehicle waiting for you.” She said, turned around and left.

I stared at the door for a few seconds and coughed a laugh.

“Glad to see you too.”

=][=

As it turns out, not being able to disappear into my extra-universal apartment made it difficult to meet my new, extremely dangerous waifu.

Thankfully, due to my having a HUD, my head had a literal ring tone.

I called the PC in my apartment and schooled my features, wouldn’t want the assholes watching me in the car to think something was up.

That I couldn’t find anyone watching didn’t mean they weren’t there. They merely were better at hiding than I was at spotting them.

The call was picked up in the third ring. The glowering black mask that showed up in my HUD sent shivers down my spine.

M'shen, legendary Assassin of the Callidus Temple, Heretic’s Bane, Fleetfoot.

Godslayer.

Her Tier was equal to the monstrous Kaiju that were destroying Tokyo-3 and the world. And while they commanded far greater power, there was no doubt in my mind that where they had so far failed, she would succeed.

[What is thy bidding, my Lord?] The woman in my HUD asked with a shallow nod. Her voice was deep for a woman’s and dripped down my auditory nerves like liquid sex.

The mere sound of her voice went past my thinking mind and straight to my crotch as I felt the overwhelming urge to breed with the owner of that wonderful voice.

I fought back that idiotic urge.

The good thing about having a HUD, was that I could broadcast my thoughts into the call. Cheapo telepathy for the win. +I’ll set the portal down so you may leave, though I cannot promise it shall remain in that location. Your mission will be to find and infiltrate the secret organization named SEELE, and kill their top executives. I’ll still need the organization to run relatively smoothly, but if you think you’ll need aid in making that happen. Now is the time to bring it up.+

She suppressed a scoff. [It should not be a problem.]

+Good. Try to keep casualties to a minimum, but you have the freedom to do what you must.+ I instructed, then set down a portal on the street. +Keep me informed of your progress as you best can.+

M'shen nodded and cut off communication.

When we finally stopped the car, I didn't thank the driver, he worked for NERV which automatically made him an asshole, a cultist, a patsy, or all three at once.

When I got out, I saw we weren't at my apartment, I had been brought to NERV HQ.

“Ffaaaaaan-fucking-tastic we’re back here again.” I said, scratching my head as I stepped inside and followed the secretary that asked me politely to walk after her, she took me all the way to Misato’s office. The woman of the hour and supposed person in charge of field operations.

“You disobeyed my orders.” She said without preamble.

Wow, don’t treat me so softly Misato, I’ll be spoiled.

I sighed. “Your orders would have led to a longer drawn-out fight with more collateral damage and two dead civilians.”

Her eyes narrowed to slits. “We had retrieval teams ready to extract them. You should have done as you were told. Shinji you got hurt because you didn't follow orders!”

I sighed again. “The big rifle is useless, the Angel’s AT Field laughs at it with the same contempt it would laugh at paper balls. The Angel began targeting them specifically. Had I retreated when you told me to, to continue with the same inefficient tactics, all we'd have to show for it would be more destroyed buildings and two dead civilians. I said as much during the fight, I didn't get anywhere until I engaged it in melee and cancelled its AT Field.” I glared right back at her. “You’re at the command center, yes, you have access to data analysis and other ways of support. But I was the boots on the ground and I perceived information that would have taken too long to relay back to you during combat. And I fully believe that, if I had followed orders, we'd be in a worse position than we ended up in, with greater collateral damage and a couple dead idiot civilians to boot.”

Misato glared at me for almost a whole minute before she clicked her tongue. “Go write up your report for the mission, get out of my sight.”

Well screw you too.

I stood up and left, reaching into my jacket pocket and summoning a sandwich. This one was salami, pepperoni, cheese and guacamole.

Actually, pretty alright, eight out of ten.

I went to my ‘office’ at NERV and typed up my report on the Kaiju fight as I best recalled it. As I did that, I thought about my situation.

I had twenty-seven Credits I could spend, and a further one-hundred and seventy-three I couldn’t until I got my third Capture.

The Contract didn’t specify that the third Capture had to be an Angel. But by the same token, I didn’t want to just Stamp any random person in particular. The moment I did, that person would be my responsibility. And frankly, so far the only person I’d run into that I liked enough for that was a half-alien clone that was the key to the apocalypse.

…

Now that I thought of it that way, Stamping Rei was probably a moral imperative.

Thinking of that, didn’t NERV have an aquarium full of Rei clones? Did that mean that they could start the end of the world even if I Stamped Rei?

I didn’t want to explode the aquarium, that would likely kill all of those clones. Those clones of Rei were probably the only members of this horrid organization that were entirely without sin.

But they didn’t exactly have anywhere to go. I could try adopting them, but I’d need to upgrade my apartment to at the very least a Mansion to fit them all. And that was a not insignificant expense.

I pulled up the Catalog on my HUD and looked for any missions that people from the wider Company had that I could accomplish for some quick Credits.

There weren’t many. The Company preferred to harvest Evangelion worlds. After the cyclical apocalypse, there was simply a lot of materiel and product that was free to simply grab and resell at almost pure profit.

Everything from perishables in super markets, to abandoned chickens in chicken coops, to skyscrapers. The Company harvested the world down to the bedrock. It was then reset and the tragedy played out again.

Missions like mine were a bit of an exception to that, but then again, if I fucked it up, my boss would still get their Angel Templates for the Blood War and the world would still be harvested.

Which was why the mission I found, dealing specifically with the Rei clones came as a surprise.

An eccentric client with very specific tastes wanted maids. He wanted them identical, and able to do all the things maids should. Cooking, cleaning, sucking a cock or licking a slit unobtrusively.

I had to stop and shake my head at that. Fucking Company, ‘Slutlife’ indeed.

I’d get to keep the end product, the Company just wanted a set of Templates they could clone cheaply from to sell at exorbitant prices.

Point being, the Credits for accomplishing the task would be just enough to reimburse me for buying the Home, buying the Mansion would make it a net loss. Though to make sure things worked out smoothly, I’d need to get the Teaching and Inculcation Talents.

The bonus objective of Capturing Rei and putting her through the same training would cover most of the cost of those two Talents.

So while taking the Mission would definitely result in a net loss for me, it was a sacrifice I was willing to make to both save the innocent clones’ lives, get a personal maid staff, and ruin Gendo’s day.

Being honest, if only with myself, the third point played a larger than thirty-three percent role on my accepting the mission.

I finished my report and started to head out of NERV. I was going to Stamp Rei at first opportunity. I needed access to the rest of my budget if I was going to have the space to put all the clones in.

I had to find the time to get away and work on some Meltabombs. It wouldn’t do to leave NERV with the ability to make more Rei clones after I rescued the current batch.

Except, to rescue the current batch, I’d first need to know where they were.

Goddammit.

I changed directions and headed towards a particular office. If I was going to pull off the rescue, I’d need someone on the inside. And this was someone I didn’t much care for.

But she was a bitch who may well doom the world in the name of a man who didn’t love her back, so fuck her with a rusty rake. I’d just sell her to the Company when all was said and done. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

I barged into Bottle Blonde’s office, making her jump in fright. With all the fucks I didn’t give, I loomed over her and glared down my nose at the bitch. “So, whose cock I gotta suck in order to change how this idiot private military is spending its money?”

Her eyebrow twitched as she stood up and began to walk around me. “Mister Ikari—”

I slammed my right hand on the wall next to her face and walked into her personal space, trapping her against the wall. She looked up at me defiantly, but I could see the pulse point in her neck speeding up.

“I believe I told you not to call me by that name.” I growled, summoning my Stamp to my left hand.

She stood her ground. “Very well Shinji. I do not enjoy being condescended to.”

“Then stop being a goddamn idiot.” I cut her off, looking for the best opportunity to deploy the Stamp.

She eyed the open space to her left, but deduced I wouldn’t let her leave in that direction. “What is it you want?”

I leaned down and got right on her face, close enough that anyone walking in would definitely mistake what was happening. “I told you already. I have a disagreement in how this idiot organization is spending its money. And while I operate under the assumption that the government is thoroughly misusing my hard-earned cash they steal. Normally that’s just the cost of doing business, but I’m forced to care when their fuckups are likely to get me killed.”

“That was not very helpful Mister Ik—” She cut off as my glare intensified. “Shinji.”

I curled my lip into a sneer. “Then I’ll make it crystal fucking clear in the hopes that you get a thought worth having in that smooth brain of yours. I just turned in my report of my last Angel fight. I wrote in excruciating detail the many flaws of the idiot rifle. But I know how that song and dance goes.” I stepped closer to her, stopping as I pressed my front gently against hers. “The hell does that kid know? He’s just a kid, we’re the men with decades of experience killing other people. He needs to sit down, shut up, and do what we tell him. Then the next monster will come along, I’ll go out with useless weapons again, and maybe this time get killed. Well, not this time. I’m fucking nipping this in the bud.

“I’ve now killed two of those things which I’m guessing is more than anyone else has ever managed. That makes me the expert.” I pressed closer, Ritsuko pressed her hand to my chest in an attempt to push me back. I took her hand and pressed the Stamp to its back. “I’m informing you of that report. You will shove it up the ass of whoever the fuck you need to and stop wasting money on worthless shit. I refuse to die to salve the pride of stubborn idiots. You have the report, do something about the flaws I pointed out.”

Her jaw worked, chewing on her words carefully before she spoke. “And you come to me, why?”

“Katsuragi is an idiot. She won’t see past my questioning her authority. You at least have enough brain cells to rub together to look past your pride and see that, as the one killing the damn monsters, I just might have a fucking point.”

Her glare intensified at my insult. But still she showed no fear.

Too bad she was rotten to the core, I might have enjoyed her chutzpah otherwise.

“If that’s all this was.” Ritsuko said through grit teeth. “Then why are you cornering me like this?”

I let my smirk widen, leaned forward and whispered into her ear. “That bit I just threw in for fun.” I saw goosebumps form on the back of her neck as my breath tickled her ear. I leaned back and figuratively released her from captivity. “Well, I look forward to more sensibly designed weapons. I’ll be happy to sit on the meeting and exposit why the current designs are stupid.”

As I left Ritsuko’s office, I brought her up on my HUD and changed the location of the Stamp to the top of her head.

In three days I’ll get back to bottle blonde and see about getting all the information I need to get to the Clone Storage.

Or whatever weird pretentious bullshit they call it.

“So, Shinji.” Misato said into the mic, being careful not to use the boy’s last name. That always seemed to get his hackles up. “How goes it?”

[I’ve gotten used to basic maneuvering, though I'm still having issues with fine digital manipulation.] Shinji said as, on the screen in front of her, a Simulated Third Angel was shot by seven consecutive bursts from the Evangelion scale assault rifle.

“No no, I mean, how are you settling in? Is everything going well in school?” By all reports he was settling in well enough, he'd been sighted spending time with the First Pilot. Most of his peers held him in something approaching awe as, even though he stuck to the letter of the directive not to speak about his involvement with NERV. ‘I am not allowed to comment’ only served to increase the curiosity of most, making them wonder what exactly he was unable to speak about.

[School is going well enough. I still don't see a reason to attend, by the time I muster out of NERV I’ll be independently wealthy enough to not have to bother with a job.] Shinji said in a bored tone as another virtual Angel fell under a barrage of gunfire.

Misato hummed noncommittally and shut down the microphone.

The truth was that Shinji was something of an enigma. A natural Eva Pilot who in hours had achieved more than the other trainees had in years. Upon his arrival he’d been openly antagonistic, but the moment his contract had been signed he’d been, for the most part, an ideal recruit. Following every order given to the letter without complaint.

The closest thing to insubordination he'd done since the day that he struck his father, was that every time he was on base and they happened to meet, he’d glare at the man with open resentment, perhaps even hatred. But beyond the glare he was unfailingly polite, nearly but not quite to the point of mockery.

The time the elevator doors had opened and Shinji saw Director Ikari on the elevator, Misato had worried, then her heart had climbed into her throat as Shinji had resolutely stepped into the elevator, nearly chest to chest with his father, and glared down his nose at the man.

That staring contest had not ended until Shinji stepped out of the elevator, not a word exchanged between the two.

It had happened three more times to Misato’s knowledge.

Any other recruit would have been knocked down several pegs. But Shinji had shown that he understood exactly how valuable he was. He was already considered a flight risk, and while they could detain him easily enough, the idea that he might well go through with his threat, to stand by while an Angel tore the city apart purely to laugh as his father was killed. It was deemed unwise to call his bluff, according to their analysts, it may well not be a bluff.

Just what had Gendo done to the boy?

“Have you memorized the locations of the redeployment gates, charging stations, and weapon caches?” Ritsuko asked as Shinji brought down another virtual Angel. This time in five bursts of fire.

[Not yet.] He answered, pausing to duck behind a building and shimmied along Several buildings to exchange his empty gargantuan assault rifle for a fresh one. [There's a lot of them. Isn't there a Heads-Up Display system that could be used to overlay them onto the pod’s vision?]

“That is a work in progress.” Ritsuko said, glancing at Misato as Shinji grunted noncommittally. She cut off communication before speaking again. “I am worried. With how he acted when he first came…do you think he's being genuine as far as his willingness to fight?”

She thought back to the day he had arrived, when she had tried to slap him. He’d caught her wrist with no effort and looked at her with eyes that may as well have been chips of ice.

She had seen her death in those eyes.

“I don't know.” She finally answered.

On the screen, the simulated Angel died in two bursts.

=][=

The new guy thought he was hot shit, but Suzuhara Toji knew better. The fucker had gotten his little sister hurt! His fight with the monster had caused structural damage in the building she was in and gotten her trapped in rubble when it partially collapsed.

Toji had promised himself that he'd give the asshole a piece of his mind, by punching him in the face. But he kept hiding behind the teachers and the class rep, looking at Toji like he was trash on the floor.

It really pissed him off.

He also spent all his time with Ayanami, the mysterious girl that used to spend her time all alone. There were rumors that the two were an item. Or that, since he was the pilot of that giant robot, Ayanami was as well, and had gotten hurt fighting another monster.

The bastard had gone to the roof again, and this time Toji would not be denied. He owed that wannabe pilot a punch in the jaw for hurting his little sister! If he’d been careful, he wouldn't have dropped half a building on her!

He was on his way to the roof, with Aida still trying to stop him, when the evacuation alarm rang out. Toji cursed and turned around, the new guy got a stay of punch-acution, today only.

He’d been saying that for three weeks.

Moving to the shelter was boring. One would think that having to evacuate to a big shelter that could laugh at a nuke would be exciting. But it wasn’t, it was just walking orderly and responding when your name was called. Just like all the drills.

Hell, it was probably another drill.

“Hey, Toji!” Aida said with a glint in his eye. “We should go out there!”

Toji blinked. “You crazy? It's just a dumb drill and we’ll get in trouble.”

“No, this one's legit!” Aida whispered so loud that a few people turned to look at them. “We should go out there and record it, for posterity!”

“You’re an idiot.” Toji crossed his arms. “Either way, get in trouble on your own, I’m not going.”

“It’s okay.” Aida said and patted Toji’s shoulder. “I understand if you're too scared.”

“You what!?”

After a bewildering series of events later that led to the two of them being outside, they witnessed the impossible. A giant floating half fish half centipede half majestic sea flapflap (so Toji had forgotten the name, anyone had a problem with him was welcome to the knuckle sandwich). 

Aida loved every second, cooing as it crawled over a building and reduced it to rubble. Seemingly by accident.

A gigantic purple robot shot at it from behind a different building, using a fuck-off huge rifle. The monster didn't care and broke every building between it and the robot into rubble.

The robot retreated a few times, then switched tactics and slammed shoulder first into the monster and made it stumble. It broke off a few of the monster’s legs which Toji belatedly realized were ribs, then it retreated and continued shooting the monster, it continued that tactic whenever the monster got close, forcing the fight to happen over already destroyed or damaged buildings.

Until in one of those tackles it got sent flying. Literally flying, that thing was going on six seconds of airtime and— wait, was it getting bigger?

The giant robot landed with an explosion of dirt and rock, tumbling head over heels and tearing through buildings and the ground. It rolled right over the two of them, and the only reason they didn't get squished was that the robot was in the part of the roll where its body was off the ground when it reached them.

It ended the roll on its feet, glaring at the monster, a huge cable running from its back.

Then it looked at them and froze. It felt like forever, but after two seconds it had run past the two of them, the wind of its passing knocking the two of them over.

There was a huge crash like two buildings ramming into each other, Toji pushed himself up and saw that the robot had slammed into the monster mid-run. The two struggled with each other as the monster’s tentacles began to glow bright white, Toji could feel the heat of its tentacles from where he stood, the metal of the robot’s hands running molten as it grappled with the monster. A weird rainbow effect happening between them, the robots gun crushed into scrap in the middle of that rainbow.

The two grappled for several long moments, the robot screaming a surprisingly human scream of pain when the monster brought up two new tentacles and stabbed them into its gut.

The stalemate remained for what felt like forever. The robot would push the monster away, it would throw it, trip it, punch it, rip its legs off and stab it with them. But always the monster would come back, pushing the robot back and taking back whatever ground it lost.

Toji was at a loss, the place was a pretty big disadvantage for the both of them, the robot could try luring the monster elsewhere, or the monster could try tossing the robot like a frisbee again. But the both of them kept fighting bitterly for the unimportant stretch of buildings they were steadily demolishing.

And then it hit him.

The monster had realized that the robot had not gone for a straight up fight until it had to protect Toji and Kensuke. If the robot tried to do its thing and fight at range, the monster would kill them.

So long as it tried to kill them, the monster would have an advantage.

They were going to make the robot fail.

The monster would destroy Tokyo-3.

The monster would kill Sakura, and it would be Toji’s fault.

Just as he started to realize exactly how badly he’d messed up, the robot did a goddamn judo-flip on the monster, slamming it to the ground so hard it made a crater and sending Toji and Kensuke to the ground as the earth heaved.

There was a high-pitched sound that hurt his ears, followed by the sound of a huge window shattering, and an inhuman screech full of pain and anger.

Then heavy, earth-shaking thumps. A huge metal hand scooped them up along with a slab of the pavement they'd been lying on. Then the world went crazy.

Up became left and right was up and down was taking a vacation. Toji and Kensuke rolled around, got banged up, and in one particularly bad bounce where Kensuke slammed into him, Toji felt something give in his shoulder.

He wondered if it made a sound, but between Kensuke’s terrified screaming, the roar of an explosion, the smashing of metal against concrete, and his own terrified defiant yells. Whatever sound his arm made was lost.

He wasn't sure for how long they got tossed about, but it felt like forever. When it all stopped, Toji lied still fearing that if he moved, everything would go crazy again.

“Woah! Toji, look at this!” Kensuke said excitedly.

Toji waited for the world to go crazy again. When it didn’t, he chanced opening one eye. There was a huge cross made of light in the sky. He sat up and took his surroundings in, they were in the robot’s hands, he could see where some of the plates had run like wax.

They were surrounded by a wasteland, it looked like the movies when a big bomb fell. Toji put his working hand over his mouth to help keep his breakfast in his stomach, where it belonged.

Kensuke kept talking a mile a minute, but Toji ignored him, looking instead to the huge, unmoving robot.

He was wondering how they were going to get home when a bunch of helicopters arrived. People in hazmat suits rappelled off and holy shit a rifle barrel looked huge when you were staring down it!

He and Kensuke were taken forcefully to the ground, all the hazmat guys screaming nonsensical shit. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught a glimpse of the new guy, being lowered on a weird contraption keeping his back and neck rigid, he looked like he was covered in blood.

And then someone put a bag over his head. And Toji wondered if he was going to make it home on time for dinner.

It was very glad for the fact that my implants could interface seamlessly with my  Company phone. This allowed me to keep track of time and gave me an avenue for entertainment. Denying the idiots at NERV the opportunity to make me stew in my own adrenaline. Mainly by keeping an eye on the clock, playing games, and catching up on my reading via my HUD.

As it turns out, if you punch a guy in charge of a secret government organization with infinity funding, you're not given the time to make a dramatic speech about his moral failings.

Whoda thought.

I had been tackled, and while I could have fought back and broken every man and woman that stood between an exit and I, I didn't want to deal with that. I'd still need to kill and bag at least six more Angels, with everything beyond that being pure gravy. And the easiest way to do that would be to have an organization to maintain the giant abominable cyborgs that would facilitate the whole endeavor.

I just wanted to be done. I had to do this job to prove myself. Then likely another one or two so my Patron recouped their investment, and then I could start my multiversal adventure.

I’d probably have to spawn a kid or two along the way. I’d worked hard for my assets, and I couldn’t set one of my future waifus as the recipients, they’d count as my property and would be repossessed on the event of my death unless they went to an heir.

Just because I planned to live forever didn’t mean I wouldn’t plan for the possibility of my death.

Thinking of Waifus, I brought up my Retinue and saw the monster. Sachiel. My first waifu was a genderless inhuman city destroying biped, because fuck my life. Eh, I'd eventually be able to toss it and its brothers and sisters out like Pokémon. So, it all evened out in the end.

I just needed to figure out a way to resurrect it first.

I looked at the clock, going on four hours since I was put in this very comfortable looking room and was asked politely to wait, the door had then been locked.

I wondered if they were going to go for the hard or the soft sell?

Either way it didn't really matter. I’d give my demands, most of them would be met. I’d seen the awe in the faces of all those people. I had just done something that in their eyes was impossible.

Granted, that was thanks to years of experience with maintenance on warmachines that required a melding of minds to work, coupled with a seminar on piloting the various Mechs we might run across in the multiverse.

Still, they didn't know I wasn't some prophesied Chosen One. And I would use that to my advantage to get concessions.

I looked at the clock in my HUD, and with a sigh, pulled up a different book.

Really wished the Company released stuff other than Harem stuff. Yes, there was a surprising diversity in the type of Harem stories told in Company books, but dammit there was such a thing as oversaturation.

I was in the middle of reading about Joseph swearing his love to his third wife in the middle of a climactic fight (seriously I may not be much of a romantic, but even I understand that there is a better time and place) when the door to my waiting room/holding cell finally opened. The brunette and fake blonde from earlier walked in and sat on the couch opposite me.

I kept my mouth resolutely closed, I wasn’t here for games or power plays, but if I had to play them, I was going to play to win.

The silence grew longer, until the brunette sighed. “Shinji, you did very well piloting the Eva. We want you to become one of the Pilots for the Evangelion program.”

I shrugged. “I have conditions.”

Their eyes flashed with surprise and hope before they controlled themselves again. The fake blonde asked. “What would those be?”

I raised my right hand, index finger extended. “I will legally be recognized as emancipated. No longer will I be Ikari Gendo’s son.” I raised a second finger. “I will be allowed to change my name to whatever the hell I like.” I raised a third finger. “I will not be forced to attend school, that’d be a colossal waste of my time.” I raised a fourth. “I will be provided a living space on NERV’s dime for the duration of my employment. And when I specify NERV's dime, this includes living expenses.” I raised my thumb. “My salary will be, in a word, ‘exorbitant.’ Meet these five conditions and I’ll get in your giant deathtrap disguised as a robot and kill your monsters.”

“Shinji, the fate of the world-”

“I don't care,” I cut her off with a slash of my hand. “The world and everyone in it has given me no reason to care, starting with your boss. I was not joking when I said I only hoped to live long enough to see the monster squish Gendo like a grape. Don’t appeal to my nationalistic pride, it’s nonexistent. My love of humanity? It's been quite thoroughly snuffed. My decency? I don't give a shit. I fought that monster yesterday to pay back a debt, the wounded pilot saved my life, I returned the favor. I consider the matter squared. You want me to fight your battles and spout your bullshit? Put me on the fucking payroll.” I opened and closed my raised fist. “And you know my conditions for enlistment.”

The brunette looked pissed, but before she could say anything, the fake blonde said. “Very well, we’ll take your conditions to our superiors.”

“Ritsuko!” oh, so that was her name. “You can't just-!”

“Let's go, Misato.”

I tagged them on my HUD and typed in their names. That would save me from future awkwardness.

Now back to waiting.

I picked back up at Joseph swearing his love to his third wife.

=][=

Ultimately, it took three days. Three days waiting, of reading contracts backwards and forwards.

The first contract they gave me had been the standard one, which held none of the clauses I’d mentioned. They had the NERVe (hehe, geddit?) to tell me that those would be taken care of after I signed.

I informed them that my salary just went up. And would continue going up by the day so long as they wasted my time.

They had ultimately caved. The only things they had remained adamant on were that I keep my current name and attend school. Because that’s apparently important when the world is ending.

They were probably hoping that I’d make emotional connections with people ‘my age,’ giving them some more leverage to use so they could point me at Angels while paying me less.

Joke’s on them, business comes before pleasure.

Still, I was officially emancipated, even if normally that wouldn’t be allowed. But Ikari Gendo had no legal hold on me.

This all played through my head as I headed for school. I had ended up in the same apartment building as Misato, purely a coincidence, I was sure. It was easy enough to spot the agents they had tailing me. They did a fairly good job, the fact being I would not have managed to see them were it not for the grueling training I’d put myself through in Basic.

As I waited for my stop on the metro, I set my HUD to inform me when a group of girls wearing the school uniform of my new school got up to leave, then pulled up the Catalog on my HUD.

Capturing Sachiel had given me sixty Credits to work with thanks to my negotiations with the Company.

After all, I'm a clone with nothing really to live for. Might as well take a risk.

I looked through the options available to me and thought through what I wanted. I did not have enough for the Defenses that would make a difference, not yet, and the fact was that there were plenty of dangers I faced well beyond the Angels.

This world had a lot going against it. The Angels trying to wipe out the current form of humanity. Two opposing incredibly heavily armed forces working together until they succeed in suppressing the apocalypse they didn’t want and not a second more. The world leaders trying for the ultimate ‘fuck you, I've got mine.’ Eager to destroy civilization and salt the Earth so long as they got their own flawed immortality.

Another asshole seeking to sabotage their plan and include all of humanity in the plan to render everyone into soup, in the vague hope that it will reunite him with his functionally dead wife.

And I was stuck at the front lines and watched so thoroughly, that I would not be able to fart without it being in the report of at least twelve agents.

My mission was to capture or kill the Kaiju/Angels. Maybe I'd get to keep an Eva if I finagled things correctly. Though I’m honestly not entirely sure I want one. Way too much goddamn maintenance.

Yes, just about any big robot required a lot of goddamn maintenance. But on most others, if I kept everything on tip top shape, I didn't run the danger of dissolving into the damn mech.

I shook my head. I had a windfall of Credits since I’d captured Sachiel’s Template right as he…she…It died. This was good, Credits were the Company’s currency. With enough of them I could literally gain the powers of a God.

But that was the problem. I was a fuckup who was saved from having a shitty Agent-adjacent job at the Company, purely because I (or, more likely, one of the mes across the Company) had done something that impressed someone wealthy enough to buy out my Contract. And nice enough to give me a shot at the full Agent experience.

Or…well…considering I only got twenty Credits at the start, nice might be the wrong word. But at least I had a shot. The very shot that stupid bitch Stacy took from me.

I shook my head again. Okay, what was the best use for these sixty points? I needed Defenses to be able to pilot the Evangelion without fear. I had a Talent that had made it so I learned a lot about the Eva’s instinctive use of the AT Field in the short time we fought Sachiel. A Talent to better learn to fight would be welcome, or the two Talents that would make me very good at non-esoteric science and technology, as well as Magitech once combined with Soul Talent. Which would combine very well with my Archeotech Mechanicus-Pattern implants and general Imperium and general Mech Tech knowledge (and all the blueprints I’d been able to copy and squirrel away over the one and a half decades working for the Company’s engineering division).

But no. All of those were relatively expensive, and while they would make for incredible investments, that investment would be worth very little to me if I fucking died before I had a chance to collect.

No. I needed to use these Credits to secure my exit strategy. Both out of this gods-forsaken universe and of any FUBAR situation in particular. The value of being able to say ‘yeah no’ to any situation had been drilled into everyone in Basic. I was Out of Context Bullshit, I should take advantage of that.

First things first, secure the exit strategy.

I bought an extra dimensional apartment. There was a sale on at the moment which bundled that with what was essentially a muggle repelling charm, so only those who I brought with me could see and consciously interact with the portal to enter the apartment. I bought Stress Defense to protect my mind from the degenerative effects of piloting the Eva, as well as Information Defense to help obfuscate my true abilities from the numerous agencies keeping tabs on me.

And last but not least, I bought a way to leave this universe, only downside being it would be a blind jump to the next.

It would take time to charge up the power necessary to create that portal, so best get that started now.

This left me with a whole fifteen Credits. Enough to buy a lot of regular people, several people who are professionally knowledgeable in their field, three people who were the equivalent of an Olympic champion in what they did, be that fighting, engineering, or yes, athleticism. Or one Olympic champion and one barely superhuman person.

And thanks to the apartment, I would even have a place to put them!

I could also get some of those Defenses that didn’t apply too well to my current circumstances, I could try that Body Defense power. But chances were, the only ones interested in poisoning me would be an end of the world cult, and the best funded of those needed me alive, so that wasn't something I needed to worry overmuch about.

I ultimately decided to save those Credits, it was always best to keep an ace up my sleeve. And once I got more Credits, I could get another Template. One that would let me act covertly to try and make a start at unfucking the thoroughly fucked situation this world had landed itself in.

Which I could have done now, but at the danger of my new ability being noticed and causing all the vermin to scatter.

My HUD pinged me, informing me that the students I’d tagged were on the move. With a sigh, I stood up and continued my trek to school.

I should have taken a pay cut to not have to attend school. It's not like the money will be any good once I leave for the next universe anyway.

=][=

School was boring.

The teachers droned on, and they at least seemed to have been told about me, because none of them had called me out on my very obvious zoning out, the only one zoning out harder than me was Rei, and she wasn't even pretending to pay attention. All the teenagers in the class kept throwing glances at me, their gossip senses tingling and licking their figurative chops like a pack of starving wolves.

I'd been introduced simply, and last I checked, the Angels were the worst kept secret on the planet, but they remained a supposed secret nonetheless. So, while everyone likely knew that Kaiju were attacking, that a giant robot had fought it off, and that the tall muscular youth who was transferred out of nowhere was likely the Pilot. I was not at liberty to discuss specifics.

Sacred hell, the history teacher somehow managed to make ‘aliens invaded fifteen years ago and started the End Of The World As We Know It’ sound droll and uninteresting. Come on, this is history! We evolved to find this fascinating!

Where’s the danger? The politicking and infighting? The old hatreds set begrudgingly aside?

Where's the drama?

The answer to my unasked question was a monotonous. “In a mere six months, half the human population was lost forever.”

See? That should be a statement of utmost awe-inspiring horror. It should be the visceral capstone to a long, riveting tale of fear, betrayal, bravery and heroic last stands!

Ugh. And I couldn’t fully zone out, because I might get called on to give an answer.

The day sucked until lunchtime. Upon which it sucked even harder, as I was forced to withstand the most stringent of tortures.

Social Activity.

“Hey, Ikari, got a minute?” Asked one of the braver female students in class the moment the bell rang. Rei was putting her things away, slowly, because she only had one mostly uninjured arm.

I blinked and looked at the girl who had spoken to me, my sitting height was almost equal to her standing height. “Yes?”

She was a pretty girl, with dyed blonde hair and pouty lips. I had no idea who she was. She gave me her best attempt at a disarming smile. “So, how come you transferred here when everyone who can is trying to evacuate?”

I shrugged. “Didn't have much of a choice honestly.”

She and her friend, a girl with a button nose and bright brown eyes, with hair as black as a crow’s feathers leaned in. The blonde whispered conspiratorially. “So, the rumor’s true, isn't it?”

I furrowed my brow. “Depends on the rumor.”

The black-haired girl leaned in and whispered so loudly that everyone in the room would have heard it. “Don’t play dumb. The rumor that you're the pilot of the big robot!”

Blonde leaned in. “It’s true, isn't it!?”

The two stared into my eyes like they held the secret to immortality and eternal youth. And considering I had a HUD and Catalog access; they weren’t entirely incorrect.

“I am afraid I can neither confirm nor deny that rumor.” I said in a deadpan.

This, of course, with everyone having been listening-in being teenagers, they cut to the heart of the matter and read between the lines to reach the conclusion they wanted.

It just so happens that this conclusion was coincidentally the truth.

“Ohmigosh you guys I told you he was it!”

“Hey! How’d you get chosen to pilot that thing?”

“Weren’t you scared!?”

“Does it have an ultimate move!?”

I should think up an ultimate move for when I’m fighting the next Kaiju.

I did my best to remain calm, to keep in mind that this was not the trenches outside the Palace. They were crowding me because they’d lived their whole lives in relative peace. They'd never had a Beastman or a Traitor bear down on them with a chainsword. Never felt the men and women next to them die while they fought for their lives.

To them, bloodshed was a fascinating story. They’d never seen the light leave a man’s eyes before he charged them, bayonet leading. Never crushed a woman’s throat until her larynx gave out with a crunching crackle.

I forced the memories and emotions down, fed them into the furnace of my anger, used it to fortify the cold rage that forever lurked beneath the surface.

“Sorry but, I really am not at liberty to confirm or deny anything.” I repeated over and over with an apologetic smile.

“W-Wait! Please, at least tell us this.” Said a girl with light brown hair, her face twisted into a fearful grimace. “What was that monster? Is it some country’s secret weapon?”

She reminded me of Annabelle, the one squaddie I’d gotten along with. She’d died on day one thanks to standing too close to Stacy.

Annabelle had been the one to laugh at my nihilistic jokes. The only one to appreciate my brand of humor.

Maybe that's why I answered honestly.

I sighed, a lot of my strength seeming to leave me with the exhalation. My shoulders drooping as my hands tightened into fists.

“I don't know what they are.” I lied. “They haven't told me much of anything. All I know is that this was the third one, and that more will come.” I gave her a grim smile. “Don't worry too much about it. I may not be good for much, but I’m at least good at fighting. Whenever the alarms happen, just go to a shelter, it might be scary, but at the end of the day, you'll get to go back home. I’ll make sure of it.”

There was a moment of awed silence. The girl who looked like Annabelle stared, her eyes wide and her face flushed.

I winked. “Don't tell anyone I said that, I’m not at liberty to confirm or deny anything.”

This, of course, caused everything to devolve into more questions. For some reason, being jostled left and right didn’t irritate me so much anymore.

A skinny kid slapped a hand on my desk and glared at me, he was just tall enough to be able to look down his nose at me while I sat. “Hey, new kid. Follow me outside.”

“Toji!” Said the bossy girl that had not been trying too hard to get people back to their desk. “You missed a whole week of school without permission!”

“Shaddap!” He spat, then turned his glare back on me. “You, step outside, now!”

I looked at him and tried to remember who he was. He clearly had an issue with me specifically. Still, my answer was obvious. “Nah, I’m good.”

His eye twitched. “What!?”

“Look, Shoji.”

“The name’s Suzuhara Toji!”

“I don't care. Point is, I have no obligation to you, or your wounded pride. I can see by your demeanor that you are angry. You are welcome to seek me out at some point when you won't be a bother on my exceedingly busy schedule. For now, if you'll excuse me, I’m going to go get lunch.” I stood up and headed for the door.

Toji tried to step in front of me, but I outmassed him considerably before one took into account my Company Bought enhancements. Still, points to the guy for being ballsy. Rare is the boy who will antagonize someone a head taller than him and built like a strongman.

My walking into him was enough to nearly send him sprawling.

I looked around, ignoring Toji and his demands that I follow him, and looked for Rei. That girl needed some thanks, hot chocolate, and a hug. And would you look at that, I had all three available in spades.

=][=

Seeing as to I hadn't received my first paycheck yet, I used my Contract Granted food summoning power. Rather than a whole pail of dehydrated tasty food that needed only to be boiled in water for twenty to thirty minutes, I used the second option for generic though still tasty to go food.

I didn’t particularly like this one. The fare was guaranteed to be edible and nutritious. But they were random.

I do not know what apocalyptic hellhole the cricket and cheese sandwich came from, and I don't want to find out.

A few tries netted me a cold cuts sandwich, and a meatball sub.

Tossing the artichoke and imitation anchovies pizza, I looked for the half angel half clone.

I found her on the roof, staring out across the city.

I walked up next to her. “Yo, Ayanami Rei, correct?”

She turned placid ruby eyes on me. “You are Ikari Shinji.”

“Yup. Wanted to thank you.”

She blinked and tilted her head slightly; I took that as an invitation to continue.

“The one that drove off the Angel and allowed me to escape getting nuked. That was you, right? Piloting while wounded?”

“Yes.” She said without inflection.

“Well, you saved my life, thank you.”

She shook her head. “I was following orders.”

“Well, your following orders resulted in you saving my life. So, you have the thanks anyways.” I looked around. “Say, you eat lunch yet?”

She shook her head and pulled out a few pills. “Not yet.”

I looked at the pills in mounting horror. “The hell are those?”

“Vitamins and other supplements.”

“And you don’t eat anything else?”

“No, why would I?”

My horror was matched only by my disgust.

“Yeah no, put those away.” I demanded. “Come on over.”

She must have been inherently used to following orders, as she followed me without complaint. I took a seat in the shade and patted the ground next to me.

“Sit next to me.” I said when she didn't understand the cue.

She did, still looking at me like I was some weird specimen.

“Alright, I've got a cold cuts sandwich and a meatball sub. Which one do you want?” I asked.

Rei blinked and said. “I have never had either.”

Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter.

I tore a chunk of the cold cuts sandwich and held it towards her. “Say ah.”

“Ah?” She asked, and I used the opportunity presented to put the bit of sandwich in her mouth.

It is a rare treat to watch someone else discover something for the first time. Her expression did not change much, but it truly didn't need to. She closed her mouth and reflexively chewed into the somewhat bland fair. Her eyebrows rose slightly, she sat straighter, her eyes sparkled as she continued chewing slowly. By the motion of her jaw and cheeks, I could only assume she was rolling the morsel across her tongue. This continued for a while before she finally swallowed.

I tore another chunk and held it out, this time she opened her mouth without prompting.

I fed her the entire sandwich. Then opened my own and took a bite. Her silent, soulful, curious stare was too much, and I fed her a bite of my food for every bite I took.

I could only wonder where she packed it all.

My feeding her lunch would become a habit over the next couple of weeks.

=][=

It worried me that I had gotten used to the smell and taste of ‘L.C.L.’ or as I liked to call it, ‘Angel Juice.’

It was salty and coppery, and warm.

It was blood. It smelled and tasted like blood. Perhaps blood diluted in water.

But as the human brain is wont to, I got used to it very quickly and stopped noticing it because it was a constant.

The plug suit felt like jeans and a tee that were a few sizes too small to be comfortable. It actually was rather ingenious in that it was baggy and several sizes too big, then vacuumed and resized. It left very little to the imagination. The mini-me I’d had before body tune-up had nothing to be ashamed of, but I’d added a couple inches anyway because eight inches was impressive yet not so large as to cause too many issues with the vast majority of women.

Combine that with the fact that I was built like a linebacker, and both Ritsuko and Misato had stared a little longer than was strictly appropriate.

I felt my link to Unit 01 in the back of my mind. She was eager to experience the same closeness. But I decided to keep that for dangerous situations. Doing that had taken a toll, one I wasn’t eager to keep paying.

I kept our bond surface level, pressing a need for patience toward the nascent consciousness of the Eva. And worked at mastering maneuvering while doing my best to keep the bond shallow. I’d have to see if I could make the Imperium Standard safeties work with the Evangelion’s systems, as the creature-mech was…not unresponsive, but delayed oh so slowly. A fraction of a second that, in a fight to the death, could be the difference between life and death.

But by the same token, when I had sunk into the bond, I had run the very real danger of dissolving into the Angel Juice around me. And I did not want that at all.

I sighed and got ready to play this world’s most expensive video game.